In this episode, I discover I'm not very good at buying used cars.

I thought I was the shit. I turned up to look at these old Renaults with my disposable nitrile gloves and a maglite, wearing grubby old clothes; I wasn't afraid to go crawling around under these cars to make sure I wasn't buying a rot box. Turns out after spending all day looking at cars you start to get a bit sloppy and looking at a car in the fading light of day is the easiest way to not notice important things. Anyway, it was too late now, I was driving home in my newly purchased Clio 197 Cup. It's funny how many new things you notice that you fail to spot on a test drive with some eager sales person blabbing into your ear holes the entire time.

On the drive home I discovered a couple of interesting things. There was a loud knock coming from the suspension when on rough road surfaces. The windscreen washer jets weren't working. The car had a horrible dead-spot at about 2500RPM. Upon getting it home I discovered some more delights. Two bald tyres, severe kerb rash on all of the alloy wheels, two of the alloys looked like they had mounted a kerb at about 70MPH with big chunks missing out of the edge of the rims. In addition to this, numerous failed bulbs and my favourite; the overwhelming stench of wet dog. How had I not noticed these things in the test drive was beyond me.

To add insult to injury I then noticed the receipt for the car had written on it "sold spares or repair" which basically meant I was shit out of luck if the engine exploded the next day. I would not be getting a refund. In for a penny, in for a pound as they say and thus begins the tale of the shrinking account balance.